As I continued to ponder life beyond guilt last night it occurred to me that it might be a good idea to say a few words about the other kind of guilt, the kind that is here to serve us in noticing when we are out of integrity which I mentioned briefly in my last blog.
Those times when guilt shows up as a wonderful tool to help us realize that we're off track with our own integrity are really gifts of Life. Because we don't particularly enjoy the feelings associated with this kind of guilt any more than we do with the toxic variety however, it's easy to dismiss them but we do so at our own peril. If we are out of integrity with Life in some way it's important to pay attention and admit to ourselves what's going on so we can get back on track so to speak. If I've behaved in a way that is out of sync with something that's important and right for me in the moment then the feeling of guilt is the pointer that is showing me that. If I ignore it and try to justify myself and rationalize what I've done then I'm missing out on an opportunity that has opened up for me to come back into the flow.
The way to deal with this guilt is not really very different from what I said previously, we need to move toward it, not try to run away from it. When we allow ourselves to be fully present to the feeling without judgment then we can see what kind of guilt it really is and if it is about misalignment with something that is true for us then we can take those deep breaths and gently admit we were wrong, allowing once again for the flow of creative ideas and solutions to show us the next step that is in alignment. Defending our actions when we know we were 'wrong' is another great way of blocking the flow.
You know the difference between the redirecting and the toxic kinds of guilt when you allow yourself to be fully present and openly curious rather than dismissive, judgmental or too busy justifying. As with all feelings, there is a reason for them, they aren't the enemy, we've just been confused.
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