Sunday, January 29, 2012

Always Another Opportunity

As I mentioned in my last entry, everything is open to interpretation and the one I like best is that everything that happens is actually hear to support my true intention (conscious or unconscious).

A few days ago I had the opportunity to experience yet another wonderful example of events showing up to support making peace with my past and opening to new experiences. I was made privy to information about a past venture which didn't feel very good to me. I found myself getting judgmental and feeling sad about it all. Then I started to wonder what that was really about. It didn't take long to realize that at an unconscious level I had been hanging on to something I considered to be my baby which is now grown up and no longer mine to nurture. I even had a dream about it this morning that really accentuated the fact that I was no longer connected to this entity from my past and it was time to truly bless it and let it go, consciously. I had left physically and mentally yet there were still emotional ties that have been keeping me somewhat trapped in a world of what ifs and shoulds (see Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda entry from a couple of weeks ago). Some of these concepts and attachments are so subtle and we're so used to being there it's difficult for us to recognize them at times. But the Universe provides and I have been given the opportunity to bring these subtle energies to the surface and face them straight on with compassion and understanding so that this part of the grieving process can continue to unfold.

I no longer feel sad about it, at least not at this moment. I can't say it's all done and gone because that isn't how this tends to work but I am on the other side of the hill, able to be fully present to the now as I lovingly release what might have been in the fantasy world.

Now I am free to wonder what new possibilities are coming to be realized through me today.

Are you making peace with your past so that you can be fully present to what is now? My sense is that this is part of the gathering of energy that we need to do in order to step into what is and what will be with grace and ease (in other words so that we won't suffer so much with the changes that are taking place). I don't really know what that means, it's just there.

The image that comes up for me is like these two galaxies that look as though they are about to collide. There is destruction in the collision yet there is something greater waiting to be born.

Check into your inner being and get in touch with what's right for you.


Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Open to Interpretation

Life is always giving us exactly what we need. Unfortunately, we don't always interpret things that way. It's all wonderful and great when what shows up are the people and the stuff we like and feel good about but watch out when the perfect thing doesn't feel so great.

One of the participants of my 5 week group coaching program made a comment last week about having to be careful what we ask for because we might not like what shows up. She's done lots of work and knows that when we invite change and expansion in our lives by moving toward the kind of experiences we really want, what's been in the way of our experiencing that in the past is what we are most likely to become aware of first. That generally does not elicit joy and a warm hearted welcome yet when we realize what's really going on, that is exactly the kind of response we can have.

Instead of 'Oh, no, not this again' as the reaction to uncomfortable experiences we can turn that around to a sincere 'Yeah! it's working!' We may not be able to do so right off the bat but the willingness to bring compassion and understanding to the inner experience while being truly and openly curious about what in us is reacting can soon facilitate the shift. The peace and flow and joy that rise up when we are fully present to fear, sadness, guilt, shame, anger with compassion instead of criticism is infinitely more rewarding than any distraction or avoidance mechanism that really only serves to reinforce the error that caused the discomfort in the first place. I say error because the reasons we are uncomfortable or hurt are generally based on false assumptions and beliefs with no real basis in truth. It's just what we decided, usually when we were between 2 and 5 years old, that we've been reliving over and over and over.

Purple Ribbon and LipsWe don't have to keep reliving those experiences that cause pain or block us, at least not to the degree most of us have in the past, when we know what to do with them when they show up. We could interpret everything that happens as being for us. For us to bring love to, for us to realize as mistaken ideas, for us to move beyond, for us to expand in awareness, flow and love.

It's all in the interpretation. Go ahead, set yourself free.


Friday, January 20, 2012

When Change Happens

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my theme for 2012 is realization. Time to realize the potential that is meant to be expressed through me.

I've noticed that things are indeed unfolding in a rather unexpected way. I am doing more and more work I love yet the focus isn't exactly what I thought it would be. I feel very blessed to have a good number of participants in the first group coaching series and some new coaching clients and where I am a bit surprised is in the increase in my work as a celebrant.

I've had a desire to grow the celebrant/ceremony aspect of my business along with the coaching but not a lot had been happening in 2011 in that area. 2012 is starting with a bit of a bang however and I am deeply grateful. I love serving families at a time when compassion and understanding are most needed. It is a heart-full, expansive experience to celebrate life and be with the experiences of loss and grief in an open and receptive way.

This is true of our own sense of loss and grief as well. We all experience it but we don't always allow it which makes it very painful indeed. Change brings loss in one way or another. It could be something we really want to let go of but if it has been with us for a long time it served us in some way so we are bound to feel a bit lost without it.

One of the steps the participants in the Developing a New Relationship series are being invited to do is say no to something they need to release in order to realize their new intentions. There's a good possibility some unexpected feelings may show up in relation to that. Whenever we let go  or lose something or someone it's essential that we allow the feelings of sadness and grief to move through us rather than meeting them with resistance or some kind of logic like 'there's no reason to feel sad about this' 'I didn't want that anyway'. My distraction or way of trying to avoid the pain of loss was to try to convince myself I didn't care. That had some interesting repercussions.

changing seasonsSo if you've lost something or someone or if you are making some significant change in your life, I invite you to ride the wave of whatever feelings show up; sadness, fear, anger, joy. Trust me, this too will pass.

Monday, January 16, 2012

The Precious Now

I am reminded every day of how important it is to be centered and have my energies available in the here and now for whatever Life is expressing. When I find myself wandering off or my energies being dissipated in thoughts that drain me I take a deep breath and call it back because the only place I truly want to be is here, now, present, in Love, in Life.

Whatever I think I want or think will make me happy outside this moment is really the illusion called the human condition. It's OK that we experience this illusion, it is what it is until it is no more and it is also what makes being fully present here and now so very delicious.

Go ahead, take the risk, no matter where your mind and your energies have been until this moment bring them back with a deep breath and pay attention to what is within and around you without commentary or judgment. Isn't that just too yummy?

Just like the frost patterns in this picture, life is an amazing pattern of which we are all a part. When we let ourselves be fully present we can see the beauty of it all as it unfolds so very perfectly, moment to moment to moment yet always now.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Shoulda Woulda Coulda

How often does the concept that things should be different than the they are cross your mind?

Do you find yourself saying or thinking you would be happy if....

What could you do if life was as you believe it should be?

How's that working for you?

Shoulda, woulda, coulda; those insidious little words that colour our world grey. So logical, so reasonable, so debilitating.

Does happiness and the ability to be what you really are truly depend on any of those ideas you've placed in the way? I've noticed that when my energies are kind of groping for something that isn't there I am anything but happy. The illusion that achieving something to be OK is one of the greatest obstacles to realizing how perfect you are and life is right now.

There is a tendency so spend a great deal of time and energy looking for wholeness and wellness somewhere, anywhere other than in the moment. No wonder there are so many energetic disorders today.

When I find myself out there trying to get something to get away from some kind of discomfort that has surfaced I've come to realize that what I really need is to bring my energy back and rest my awareness on inner being for a moment. When I pay compassionate attention within I am at peace once again. It's all part of the in breath and the out breath of Life.

It really is that simple.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Emotional Intensity

I am noticing an uptick in emotional intensity for a number of people around me. I'm not sure what it means but it is interesting to note that it seems to be connected to some rather harsh self-loathing. Any attempt to bring compassion to the self in these cases is generally met with great difficulty even imagining allowing anything like compassion toward what has been judged as unacceptable and unlovable.

I think this increase in intensity is good news. It tells me there's also a ripeness for change. When the level of discomfort becomes unbearable somethings gotta give and if that's the case for you, I'm here to tell you that something is you. It may well be time to surrender, to give up the fight and give yourself over to the process that is taking place within. It may look like its happening outside of you such as a loss of some kind, more fighting with a partner or some kind of bad news that feels overwhelming but it doesn't mean those things are here to make you unhappy. You could see it from the perspective that they are in your life to set you free at last from some debilitating belief or traumatic memory.

Fighting the feelings by defending, analyzing, being reasonable and staying focused on outer events will only intensify the pain. Instead you can stop, take a nice full breath and bring your energy back into yourself by shifting your focus to what's going on in your body. Be fully present to your inner world for a few moments without judging what's going on but rather being compassionate with yourself for what you're experiencing. This is all part of the human condition we all experience from time to time. It's ok, there's nothing wrong with you. You are most likely being shown something that has been festering for a very long time. Be curious, be gentle, be kind toward yourself. It's what you really want isn't it?