Wednesday, November 30, 2011

About Those Goals

I've tended to shy away from formal goals most of my life. I've dabbled in them many times over the years but never really got into them in a serious way for the most part. I would guess this was mainly due to certain beliefs that lurked at the edge of awareness such as 'this will never work', 'I don't want to experience failure, again', 'it's no use',  'I can't have what I really want' and I'm sure a few other choice tidbits had their say in the mix.
I am also aware that even though I didn't want to have specific goals that I would actually admit to, there have always been 'goals' at play even if I didn't really embrace the fact that I had them. I remember being told I must really be goal oriented many years ago based on what I had achieved. I remember being surprised by the comment and thinking, I don't set goals.

Ok, ok, I surrender! I've always had goals and I still do. I'm just more willing to play with them on the conscious level now.
Here's some of what I have learned and I'm really still learning about this goal setting business:
  • It isn't about the goal, it's about the process.
  • Goals are about focus and direction.
  • Being attached to trying to achieve a particular goal can be a painful distraction.
  • The real purpose of a goal is expansion not achievement.
  • When I play with them as part of the journey instead of beating myself up with them goals can be lots of fun.
  • It is important to consider the bigger picture when working toward any particular goal. 
  • Goals are a great way of uncovering limiting beliefs and unresolved memories.
  • No matter what comes up, it's an opportunity for love and compassion to be experienced and expressed (I'd say that's the bigger picture for me).
The Stuff of Dreams
That being said I wonder what else is possible in this goal setting game?

Friday, November 25, 2011

Expansiveness and Clarity

Further to my post the other day. I said I didn't know where all the stuff I've been experiencing was taking me. Some ideas have taken hold and been percolating.

One of the ways expansion happens is by exploring ideas and seeing where they take you.

I've been exploring ideas around my work and where that is going and I have indeed been getting a much clearer picture along with the tools to support the way my work is going. When I look back over the past 6 months I see that the seed was planted in around April for the work I would be doing and over the past 6 months it's been gestating and evolving and it actually feels like there is a a new energy and focus to the way it is delivered. It will be interesting to see where it is after 9 months...

I've been very busy revamping and updating my website to reflect the place that original idea has evolved to. I've been wondering about where my work was going and the answer showed up as a step toward what I would call more traditional life and executive coaching (even though coaching is still a relatively new idea). What I have however that makes my work unique is the added feature of my Liberation Process which in many ways gives the coaching process a whole new depth.

I went to a coaching training last weekend which I quite enjoyed even though as I had intuited, the component of dealing with feelings and associated limiting beliefs was sorely lacking in my view. I was quite amazed to see the facilitator draw two columns labeled 'controllable' and 'uncontrollable' and proceed to fill the uncontrollable column with emotions and feelings. That confirmed for me that I have something of great value to offer people in the coaching process, a way to deal with emotions, feelings and beliefs that is far more effective than what I've seen so far in all the coaching models I've encountered. I am including this training in that comment even though I really liked and appreciated everything I got from the training and am incorporating it in my work. The Liberation Process just feels like the missing link for more effectiveness and I'm so grateful for having that tool.

So, as I said, I've been doing some revamping of my coaching model which is continuing even though I've put up the new website and I am having lots of fun in the process. Check it out at

Monday, November 21, 2011

Expanding and Enhancing

Life is always showing up with stuff to expand our awareness and enhance our journey. Sometimes it feels great right from the get go and other times it does not. Is the one that feels great better than the one that feels crappy?  I doubt it. The concepts of negative or positive; good or bad are subjective and we impose them on life's events; the events themselves don't come prepackaged with those judgments. I may be having the time of my life while the person next to me is in total misery or vice versa.

To be honest, I tend to glean more from situations where I feel uncomfortable than I do from the ones I am totally comfortable with. In the end, expansive experiences are all amazing and life is always providing them. The question is, do we take advantage of the opportunities as presented and step into the heart of whatever shows up for us or do we build up the already formidable defenses and ignore the gems.

I had a wonderful opportunity to glean the gems of my discomfort at a workshop I attended this weekend. It was so perfect to feel my heart sink and then be able to be fully present to what was going on with love and compassion. This was a familiar feeling but the way I was able to go to the heart of it this time gave me the opportunity to see more fully than ever before some of the beliefs that have kept me from being as fully engaged in the world as I would like.

I have no idea where this is really taking me but I'm definitely in for the long haul so I'm just going to go with the flow and gratefully let it be.


Friday, November 18, 2011

Allowing or Trying?

As the 40 day focus on my relationship with money continues there seems to be a lot going on in my body that I suspect is part of the process around the work I'm doing. It can get pretty uncomfortable at times and I sense it is because some of the beliefs that relate to money are very deeply ingrained in the body and the mind so they don't let go unnoticed to say the least. I'd say that means things are indeed moving and the more unconditional presence I can bring to whatever goes on in the body and mind the better.

One thing I did notice this morning was that there had been something of a shift in the last few days where the process became one of 'trying' to get some kind of result even though I was not fully aware of it until I was doing my focus work. It really doesn't take much for the work to get appropriated by the personality and become another job. The good news is, upon becoming aware, the shift can be made back to resting in the space of the unknown and allowing the unfolding that is happening not because of 'me' but rather through me. Take a deep breath into that one.


Sunday, November 13, 2011

My Cup Runneth Over

As I mentioned in my last blog post, I've started a new 40 day focus; this time its on money. What a fabulous topic to work with! After the first day I found myself absolutely overflowing with joy and love. Spending a few minutes of intense, loving attention on those places where unresolved memories have been abiding a few times a days makes a world of difference in all aspects of my life.

I was having a conversation with one of the participants of this 40 day focus a couple of days after we started. There was a request for some clarification and as I was talking about how essential it was to go through the feelings to dismantle the beliefs and that for every 5 minutes of painful memories I got to enjoy 5000 minutes of greater joy, well-being and expansiveness. The response was something like, 'That sounds like a pretty good return on your investment.' That's it! What a great way to express the benefit of using this process. For every moment of loving attention I bring to unresolved painful memories while taking apart the beliefs and assumptions that are associated with them I get a huge return on investment.

Investing you loving time and attention in those places within where there has been a deficit is  so much greater than any financial investment you could ever make that it's beyond compare. It's one of those you have to try to get it. No amount of speculation and thinking about it will give you the returns; you just have to dive in and do it.


Wednesday, November 9, 2011

A New Day

I completed my last 40 day focus on Saturday even though I continue to do the Liberation Process on a minimum twice daily basis. It was an amazing process of going deeper into whatever it is Life wants to do through this vehicle. My client base has expanded, I made lots of great connections and my work has taken on a new focus in the past few weeks. The main benefit for me however has been more clarity about what I am about in doing this coaching work and that feels wonderful.

So in terms of the new focus, I've been guided to offer my work with the specific focus of money. Money is one of the best routes I can think of to really get to the core beliefs that limit our expression and experience on this human journey. I have developed a new 3 hour seminar which I will be presenting for the first time in St. Albert on December 4th. Info on Beyond the Economics: Taking Back Your Power can be found here. I'm really looking forward to sharing this with whoever feels called to join me.

The other way I have been led to dig deep into the money pot of beliefs and assumptions is to start yet another 40 day focus (I have to admit I really love doing these, they really keep me focused) this time specifically on my own relationship with money. I've done lots of work on this one and have benefited immensely and I know there's room for lots more to be dismantled so here I go again....I will be talking about this process and inviting anyone who is interested in joining me to come to the gathering tonight in St. Albert. We can step into an expanded relationship with money together (and of course with Life itself in the process).

This is my idea of a good time!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

The Upside of Lack

Just wanted to share this morning's thoughts on another perspective as to what might be behind those things we lacked in childhood and likely continue to experience the lack of today.

You might look at it as a progression in manifestation. Let's use the example of lack of attention (experience of love) in childhood (probably still happening in some form or other). That experience of lack may have driven you to strive for attention though achievement or mischief. It could have led you on a quest to have the need for attention met in any number of ways or it could have led you to desperation and depression and the belief that it was not possible for you to have what you really wanted.

What if that need is the way the Universe has set you up for being the channel of the very thing you lacked? The progression would be from lack to desire to repeated attempts at having it fulfilled in the world to the realization that you are the instrument of the thing you lacked to being it (in this case love). What if you are the center through which the love you lacked and desired is to be manifest?

Ripples of Love
From the void all is born. The void is not empty but rather filled with possibility. You are possibility in expression and you are the continuing evolution of that possibility.

What a great set up!



Friday, November 4, 2011

Compassion, The How To

When I invite people to extend compassion into their own pain I often get comments about not knowing how to do that or even what it means. Perfectly understandable given that definitions of compassion generally talk about giving it to others, not even mentioning turning it inward.

Here's how Merriam Webster defines compassion
: sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it.
As I said, no mention of the self which is pretty much the way many in our culture tend to view things such as love and caring and compassion; it's meant for others. Yet if you are being critical, judgmental and harsh toward yourself or if you simply learned to ignore your feelings, especially painful or fearful ones, how does that work? How do do you truly give what you do not know in your whole being?

I say start by focusing inward and and then allow it to flow out of you. If you are experiencing pain take a moment to become sympathetically conscious of it and allow your desire to alleviate it do the work. The very awareness of desiring to bring love and compassion to pain or uncomfortable feelings is a great place to start, even if you don't completely understand or know what that really looks like.

Along with desire I would also suggest you use your imagination. Imagine a flow of compassion or light or love or gentle caring (use what works for you) to move right into the heart of whatever you are  feeling in your body. If that's difficult for you you might imagine a symbol of compassion such as Kwan Yin or Jesus or Buddha or Mother Theresa or the Dalai Lama radiating compassion and you being the recipient. Any way you find works for you, breathe it in, rest in it, receive it as fully as you can. It is truly one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. As you expand in your ability to bring compassion into your own being when life is askew for you, not just when you're doing everything 'right' or feeling the 'right' feelings, but when you've done the worst thing you could do or feel as bad as you can possibly feel, the less you will need to judge others and withhold your love and compassion. (Withholding love is truly one of the most painful experiences you can have by the way)
Kwan Yin Goddess of Compassion

It is a journey for most of us to truly allow compassion toward our own pain because we didn't learn this when we were growing up for the most part. It may even be the exact opposite of what you learned but the practice, when applied diligently, is one rich with reward for everyone in your life including you.