Getting into the Flow of Compassion

'This is not the way it's supposed to be'; 'If only things were different'; 'If only I had made a different choice'. These are all expressions of one of the most crippling beliefs most of us share; things should be different than they are. Even though we may accept most things, there's usually some place in the grand scheme of things where we hang onto an idea of 'if only...', or 'I wish I hadn't done that or they hadn't done that or this wasn't happening'.

The energy expended on this kind of thinking is enormous to say nothing of how much stress and unhappiness it creates. I know because I lived most of my life with some form of this belief in operation. It wasn't until I had enough of a contrasting experience of acceptance that I was able to fully realize how debilitating non acceptance of what is could really be. Most people are so accustom to thinking this way that they don't even realize that is what they are doing. Whenever we find ourselves regretting what we did or what happened or getting upset because of the way something is we are in the thrall of the concept that it should have been different. If you think about it for a minute you can see how crazy making that really is. Some people spend their entire lifetime locked into being unhappy, unable to move on because of something that shouldn't have happened in their childhood. We can speculate all we want about what it would have been like if it had been different but that will never change anything one iota. This kind of resistance can only bring more of what we are unhappy about because we are constantly reliving it even if there is nothing going on in our world today.

 The refusal to accept the way things are also has another effect I had not considered in the past, it blocks our ability to be truly compassionate. As I've mentioned before, the way I define compassion is a combination of acceptance and understanding. How can we conceivably experience that if we are caught up in non-acceptance which in itself speaks of a lack of understanding. It isn't really surprising then that we have a culture that is more caught up in acquisition and competition than it is in the well being of all.

So if that is the way it is in our culture, now what? We can't artificially manufacture compassion and we can't go backward. As I've said there's no point in not accepting the way it is so we are left with the task of first making peace with the way it is then reconnecting with Source and wondering about what is possible from here. Whether we are thinking personally or globally, we haven't begun to scratch at the surface of the possibilities that await us when we are in the creative flow of Life. It is in this creative flow that we naturally feel compassion for all and where answers previously unthought of  can emerge.

One of the things I used to find most frustrating when people spoke of compassion in the past was that they didn't really help me see how I could get from where I was to the place they were describing. The Liberation Process provides a way to do just that and I am eternally grateful for the awareness and the ability.

Paying Attention

When life gets busy, which seems to be the case for most people these days, it's easy to allow the small resentments and annoyances and general discomforts to go unnoticed. You may be aware of the disturbances at the time they occur but there may be other more pressing issues that take priority. That doesn't mean they're more important but rather that they appear more urgent. If this is a pattern in life, it's pretty easy to get caught up in it, especially since the tendency to get caught up in all kinds of urgency itself is really designed to avoid what's going on in the inner world in the first place.

Even though you may not be in the habit of addressing discomfort as it occurs, it is definitely helpful to take some time on a daily basis to check in to see if there are any residual disturbances that need your attention. If you don't take some time to deal with unresolved discomforts you will notice they seem to have a cumulative effect so that even the smallest of disturbances can upset the apple cart. The good news is that the beliefs that are being played out will likely be easier to spot because they tend to get more obvious when the effects are repetitive and the not as good news is you end up feeling a lot more stress and unhappiness. It all works out in the end but as a personal preference, I'd rather be in the flow than in the muck.

Decisions

Some of the decisions that were made so very long ago feel so true it is easy to skip over them in this process of dismantling the illusion. We may be aware of the beliefs that were formed around these decisions but it isn't as easy to challenge them. The mind may wander or be distracted or you may just see them and not even think to question their validity. That's all OK. When the time is ripe these too will be seen for what they are and if it is time to do so they will come tumbling down so that you can truly enter the space of wonder and possibility that is beyond even the most dearly held beliefs.Everything is unfolding exactly is it must.

Compassion

Compassion has been on my mind a lot lately. Don't know why exactly but so it goes.

In a conversation I was having with a friend yesterday the word came up (I think I was the initiator) and I got an interesting reaction from my friend. There was a sense of disdain for the word, it being interpreted as being akin to sympathy to this person and that was simply not an acceptable thing. There didn't seem to be any interest in another point of view so I let it go in the conversation, we all have our interpretations. The idea has stayed with me however and so I decided to write about it here.

My interpretation of compassion is a bit different from what was brought forward yesterday. I have come to see it as a combination of acceptance and understanding. So you might say I had compassion for this person's point of view because I certainly understood where they were coming from and I accepted it as being their perspective. I too have felt the same way not long ago on this journey.

There was a period for me in the dismantling process where I really didn't give a damn about anything. Whatever would have been the watch word for me during this period. I didn't feel connected to anything, including my own inner world really and that was perfect for its time. I've noticed this phenomenon in others who are on similar journeys so I wasn't particularly upset about it (or anything else for that matter). Life felt somewhat pointless as I stripped away all the meaning I had given things and I was in a kind of limbo.

Then something shifted. It was around the same time I got that sense of clarity around doing the work I am now doing. I was able to feel (hmmm, is that the right word here?) compassion toward myself and others which was not at all about sympathy but a new level of acceptance about where we all are, wherever that is. I may not want to spend a lot of time with some people but it doesn't mean I don't accept and understand that they are where they are and all is as it must be. The same is true of my own journey; stuff shows up I do what I do and all is as it is. There is no other way it is supposed to be and that for me is compassion. It has a very different quality than the I don't give a damn place I had been in. There is an allowing of all that happens but it is connected to the whole somehow in a way that was not there for me in the previous period of dismantling.

Interesting how things evolve isn't it?


This picture is a great representation of Compassion and its inclusivity for me.

The Environment

It's so incredibly beautiful with all the new greenery and the blossoms showing up everywhere it's hard to imagine how the body can seem to be reacting to whatever is in the air. I am part of my environment and it is part of this organism I call my body and it would appear that there are things in the environment that are not agreeing with the body somehow. I've actually never had this experience before but I am aware that many do on a regular basis. I have a renewed compassion for those who experience season allergies. Yet I wonder what this really is beyond the physical cause and effect concepts we perceive.What is really showing up as a stuffy head and sneezing and itchy eyes? To be honest, I haven't taken the time yet to be fully present to it all. I've been quite disconnected in fact as the focus has been more on dealing with the symptoms which is relatively easy to do in today's pharma-culture. I do find it interesting that the symptoms all seem to be in my head (literally and figuratively no doubt). We've had one of the windiest weeks I can remember here in the Edmonton area which kind of fascinated me with the concept of the winds of change dominant in my mind. I had my first Dismantling workshop in the middle of all that and even then the symptoms had started showing up in me. Hmmm....

One could surmise all kinds of things from this but really, I don't know what it means. As I bring myself back to the inner experience and breathe with it I am most keenly aware of a kind of numbness. When I check into the thoughts/beliefs floating around in this awareness there is an element of not believing I am safe which would indicate to me that the numbness is a way the system has of shutting down further exploration to stay 'safe'. Most interesting. It would seem I've hit a pocket of deep defense against what? I don't know. Perhaps it is exactly about that very thing, the depths of the unknown where I've touched upon the deepest levels of defense around the idea of 'me'. Ooo, this is fun. What if there is no such thing as 'me'? What if that is the biggest illusion of them all? I wonder what it would be like to simply be part of Life with no borders, no concept of a separate me? I wonder what that would be like...I wonder.

The Wonder of It All

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief. - Gerry Spence, 1929-present

I couldn't agree more Gerry, whoever you are.I have lived so much of my life within the limitation of my unconscious beliefs that wonder was generally quite foreign to me. Now it's the mainstay of my life and the final step in the Liberation Process after I've spent a moment or two questioning the beliefs that are behind any unhappiness or discomfort. It's a great place to hang out.

I wrote the other day about the difference between beliefs and feelings (thanks for your comments Tony) and today I'd like to talk more about the belief step. Just as we confuse beliefs for feelings, it's just as common to confuse beliefs with the way it is, the 'facts' of life so to speak. It's also common to miss the beliefs that are actually operating by not inquiring deeply enough. Beliefs come in layers and what we usually find on the top layers could be called secondary beliefs much of the time. Or you could get in touch with a level of wanting or longing that has been frustrated much of your life which is a signpost for a belief but definitely not a stopping place. An example of that would be when you find yourself disappointed or frustrated and you breathe into your body, into the place where you experience the sensations and you find a heaviness in your heart. So you breathe with that and you get the awareness that you really wanted to be loved and appreciated for something and it didn't happen or at least not in your perception. That desire to be loved and appreciated for something you did is a symptom of a belief.. It is pointing to something much deeper that may be a core belief that you have been trying to cope with or satisfy through certain behaviours, like doing something you think the recipient would really appreciate and love you for. The belief behind that could be that you aren't enough, you aren't loveable, you can't do enough to please the ones you love, etc. That's where you want to start your questioning and dismantling of the belief. Is it really true that you aren't enough? Is it possible that you are mistaken about that? Could that be the meaning you gave an event or situation when you were a very young child and don't even remember it? Breathe with those questions and let the light of realization shine bright right in the midst of the pain in your body. When you feel even a slight relaxing or spaciousness it's time to wonder. Wonder about what life would be like if you didn't have that belief; wonder about what is possible in the light of this realization. There are no quick and dirty answers to this wondering, it's a state of being that opens you to the flow of Life and the fullness of Being.

This may seem foreign at first but I have found it to be a great joy as I appreciate how Life shows me where  I've been limiting the flow and then provides all manner of possibility beyond. It takes lots of practice and patience and often a fair bit of wrangling to begin with but it just gets clearer and clearer and easier and faster and more rewarding as you go along. When I finally really got that it was not just OK to not know, to simply be in the clear open space of wonder, it was like stepping out into a beautiful bright sunny day, not unlike the one I am experiencing right now where the Mayday tree is blooming and life is a wonder.

What's A Feeling and What Isn't

To feel or not to feel, that is really not the question. It's more like, what the heck am I really feeling and why should I care?

In this work of dismantling the illusion so that we can experience the real, the natural in life one of the elements we have to deal with is what we're feeling. This may sound simple enough but I am here to tell you it is anything but. There is so much confusion between what we feel and what we believe that I thought I'd take this opportunity to take a stab at clarifying it as best I can.

The basic feelings we all have would be sadness, fear, guilt, shame, sexual and happy. Anger is a secondary feeling that comes in, often at lightning speed,  in response to one of the basic feelings that we are uncomfortable with. For instance, I may be driving down the road and someone cuts me off, almost causing an accident. I become aware of being angry and may have a few choice words to say about the other driver, etc but that wasn't the first feeling I actually had in relation to this incident. I can guarantee I was scared first but who wants to feel fear? Anger is a much more powerful seeming feeling so it jumps right in there before I even know I was scared so that I won't have to feel so powerless. The same holds true when sadness comes up but it might not be quite as instantaneous. Sometimes we just get tired of feeling sad and helpless so anger takes over, once again giving us the illusion of control or power. Enough said about that.

So back to the basics. If you want to truly be able to be present to what you are feeling I find it important to be present to the feeling and not the belief associated with it, that needs to be questioned. The feeling needs gentle attention. Feelings are actually neutral in that they do not exist in a vacuum, they are the body's expression of certain ideas or beliefs. They are really messengers telling us there's something going on in the mental field that is creating a reaction. So there's really no point in killing the messenger, nor is there any percentage in buying into the feelings as being the truth. They're the truth about what we believe, not the truth about the way it really is.

One of the places I see people running into problems with the Liberation Process is often where they've misinterpreted a belief to be a feeling. 'I feel misunderstood', 'I feel small', 'I feel insignificant', 'I feel unworthy', 'I feel appreciated', 'I feel neglected', or 'I feel like they don't like me', 'I feel like I'm not wanted' (anything starting with 'I feel like...) are all beliefs based on decisions we made so long ago we just see them as the way it is. When we see these ideas as feelings there really isn't anywhere to go with them. If we just hang out with them nothing changes, we're just maintaining the status quo or reinforcing the BS we've been buying all our lives. The thing we need to be fully present to is the sadness, fear, shame, etc., not what we think about those feelings. What we think/believe is what we need to question. That's where the illusion is being generated. The feelings are where those beliefs are anchored in our bodies so when we focus on the places we feel things with compassion and openess we can become aware of what's been playing out in our minds that is without a doubt some belief or concept that is not usually making us happy. If it is, no worries, just enjoy. But if the thoughts and beliefs aren't making you happy why would you want to hang on? (That can be a topic for another blog entry)

The point I am making here is that it would undoubtedly behoove you to learn the difference between what you're feeling and what you're believing if you seriously want to dismantle the illusion and live beyond belief. If this little dissertation has brought up more questions than answers please leave a comment and I will do my best to clarify further. (Comments are always welcome by the way)

Fun

Facilitated the first Dismantling The Illusion Basics Workshop yesterday exclusively teaching the Liberation Process as it has developed through me. It was fun being back in the teaching mode and I deeply appreciate the participation of all who came to share it with me. I really have no idea what people ended up getting from the day, I know it is something different for every person, and that is not really my business anyway although to be honest I would love to know.
Doing this work,whether in teaching mode or in participant mode, is really all about being present to what is happening right now and letting go of what might be, where I think this is supposed to go, etc. So I have the opportunity to move through any of those thoughts and associated beliefs as the days go on. I haven't really hit any deep pockets of belief or doubt around this event yet so I'm just going to keep going with the flow of energy as it shows up in me.
Chop wood, carry water.

Learning Curves

I continue on the steep learning curve with all this internet techno marketing stuff. I just sent my first Life Beyond Belief Newsletter using Mail Chimp which was fun and full of learning. If you didn't get one, you likely aren't on my new email list but you can view it here.
One of the things that has come to my attention in a big way the last few days is just how deep and illusive beliefs are when people aren't accustom to recognizing them. In one conversation I had the person I was talking to was very distressed about things that were happening in her work world and all she could do was repeat the story she was telling herself about it and questing how anyone could do this kind of thing. Not an unusual experience I guarantee you. It was very difficult for her to stop long enough to get to what she believed was going on, which turned out to have nothing to do with the event really, and realize what she was really afraid of. I would call this the human condition, way down deep in the unconscious belief zone. The amount of energy expended struggling in this zone is amazing, and it's so familiar that people don't even get that's what they're doing. Wow! Makes me even more grateful for the difference the Liberation Process has made in my life.
Then today I was at a networking type luncheon speaking to a woman about my business and she was sharing how terrifying it had been for her to go to counseling years ago and the benefit she had derived from learning about her own feelings. It is a huge step to come to recognize what a feeling is instead of the stories we tell ourselves about them. She did admit though that she still didn't get the belief thing. I invited her to check out my work.
The more I connect with people who are unfamiliar with this kind of work the more I realize how very precious this work is and the blessing of having come to it in this life along with the ability to share it with others. I know it doesn't really matter in the big picture but it's where I am right now, it's what I am called to and all I can say is yes and thank you!

Resistance

Ah, sweet resistance. There always seem to be yet another thing to bring me to whatever it is I need to walk into. It's easy to get caught up in why and wishing it were different but really, when I go there and even accept the fact that I am in resistance it somehow simply dissipates and then there is movement right back into the flow of Life. No matter what shows up I know it's all perfect.

The Boys at Beaverhills

Today's perfection was a day out at Beaverhills for a sporting clay fundraiser for Ducks Unlimited. I had a fabulous time, enjoyed the people, the weather, the sport and the meal that followed. Also won $150 worth of gas in a raffle. Not a bad day's work. Now it's home and time to put the feet up and relax. I love the feeling in my body after a full day's activity outside. Being present is truly an awesome thing.

Noticing

You know how sometimes things just don't seem to work out, you just keep running into all kinds of obstacles, problems and delays. Then there are the times when things just work with such ease and grace you can't help but notice it. I'm in one of the latter periods it seems at the moment.
Yesterday I went to pick up some of the new brochures I had printed of which I had only ordered a few because I'm forever making changes. I got there and they informed me they had printed the order twice and if I wanted I could have the second one for half price. OK!
Then I went shopping for a particular item of clothing in the afternoon and found some that I thought would work so I took a couple of them, slightly different, and discovered at the cashier that it was buy one get one free. OK again.
Then I get an email inviting me to submit a profile and logo for some free advertising in town here that I completely did not expect. Another OK.
This morning yard care people showed up across the street to do a neighbours yard and I was thinking I wish they'd come over here because we need our spring thing done and we're waiting for another neighbour who knows somebody and were going to get them to do ours as well but who knows when. Half an hour later the door bell rings and guess who? The yard care guys were done across the street and were wondering if we'd like ours done too and the answer was... OK!
Life is a hoot!

Updates

The marketing guru that I've been getting lots of information and help from is Tad at Marketing for Hippies (he looks way too young to be a hippy but what do I know). One of the things he considers essential in today's marketing is an up to date and useful website. To that end I am constantly playing with mine, thank goodness I'm doing it myself and not having to rely on someone else to be constantly updating. If you haven't been there lately I've added a new widget last week where you can get a free audio of what I'm calling The Liberation Process which walks you through the steps in a way that is meant to have you actually doing the work, not just reading or hearing about it. It's my free gift to anyone who signs up for my monthly e-newsletter. If you responded to the email I had sent and signed up that way you can still go onto the website and sign up there if you'd like the audio.The Contact Page on my sight is updated to with information about services and products.

The workshop on Dismantling the Illusion is coming along very well and I am so looking forward to the event. I love playing in the arena of workshops. It's always expansive for me and there's still room for you if you feel the call.

Since I'm in the commercial mode, I've been wanting to mention another organization I am part of called The Memorial Society of Edmonton & District. If you're in the Edmonton area you might want to check it out. It's about preplanning your final arrangements and if what you want is something simple then members get a great price for cremations and funerals. This may seem odd to you but I have always had a thing about the cost of funerals in our culture so right from my first encounter with MSED I've been on the bandwagon (I actually do free information sessions for them) because it just makes so much sense to me. People are reluctant to talk about death and I remember long ago being uncomfortable with it myself but as we all know it's going to happen and we really have no idea when. It really is all part of the flow of Life, the in breath and the out breath. I honestly don't know what happens after this body stops functioning and I no longer care quite frankly, I just trust Life to be what it is and since I'm not this bundle of beliefs anyway it's really quite irrelevant. Regardless, it's a great idea that is just not well enough known.

End of commercials.

I got this video from Anita Renfroe called In Tha Muthahood the other day and thought it was brilliant, funny and undoubtedly right on for moms so enjoy.

Enjoying What Is

I find it quite amusing to be doing what I am doing these days which is mostly working on marketing; I so used to resist marketing, particularly of myself.
When I reflect a little I realize how profoundly different my all around life experience is today from even this same time last year. It is very subtle in many ways but the delicious flow of life affirming energy that I live, move and have my being in is dominant in my awareness most of the time. Even in those moments when a bit of resistance arises it is so natural now for me to go directly into the heart of it and watch it dissipate that I hardly notice the interruption in the flow if you could even call it that. It is really just Life showing up in that moment. I do what I do, I experience what I experience and I appreciate it all for being the flow of Life as it shows up in and through me. Life does not belong to me, I belong to It. I don't have to be concerned about what is to be or what has been, this personality isn't in charge of any of that anyway.

Moving With The Energies

The changing of the seasons is always a great reminder that energies shift and change; there is an in breath and an out breath in everything and the more we move in sync with the changes the more we experience truly being in the flow.
The other day I was writing about the burst of creative energy I was experiencing and the very next day the energies shifted and I was brought to a more inwardly quiet focus. The creativity seemed to kind of recede and at first I wanted to resist this shift, I was having so much fun (sound familiar) but it didn't take me long to realize what was going on and let go of the idea that I should be doing anything. That kind of thinking is all about being somewhere other than right where I am with what is going on right now. I recognize the propensity in me to do just that, get into future concepts which invariably lead to unhappiness and frustration at some point. So I was able to relax into finishing a great book, go to dinner with friends and enjoy whatever was going on in the moment.
The reason I do the dismantling work is indeed about this very thing, being able to shift with the shifting energies instead of resisting them so that no matter what's going on I am in harmony with Life. I have spent so much time in this life experience being anything but at peace with what is that I deeply appreciate the contrast and the magic of it all.
I know that I am doing what I do not for some future gain but because that is what is happening right now and the truth is I have no idea where it's all going. That is freedom to me.