Friday, May 31, 2013

Dreams, Desires and Potential

I love the sounds of summer. Grass being mowed, birds singing and best of all those moments of seeming silence where all the activity of nature is going on in the background.

Life is always playing it's song in the background but we only become aware of it when we stop and truly listen from the heart. It sounds like silence yet it contains absolutely everything. Unlimited potential is here in every moment, we're just caught up in the limited perspectives we have become accustom to most of the time. There's nothing wrong with that, that's what makes it possible to experience certain aspects of life. It's just that sometimes it's nice to remove our attention from those limited experiences and open up to the unlimited.

When we aren't busy trying to control what happens Life comes along and shows us wonders that are far beyond our personal experiences and imaginings. Even though we may have dreams and desires it's important to let go now and then so that we can get out of our own way.

It's so easy to get caught up in making dreams and desires wrong, considering them to be 'ego' based yet what if desires are simply messages from the unformed about what is to come to us? What if dreams and intentions are foreshadowings of the wonders that are going to be evolving through us? What if it isn't personal but rather Life moving through these bodies it has created to bring forth more of creation?

Who knows? It's fun to speculate sometimes but its even more fulfilling to be still and allow...

Sunday, May 26, 2013

The Gifts of Contrast

I really don't like repeating myself but over the years (of which there have been many) I have learned that I need repetition. I didn't used to like watching the same movie or TV show more than once but now I'm good with it, maybe because I realize there's so much I either don't remember or missed altogether the first time. Same is true of some of the books I've read. And to the main point of this article, this is so very true of process. I've worked with all kinds of beliefs and limitations to get through them and have had success which doesn't mean I don't need to revisit them, or rather, that they don't revisit me.

I have been focused on financial abundance and grace these past 57 days. Yes, I do know the exact number of days because I started journaling again when I started this focus period and have been noting the day number on every page. There have been periods where I could really feel the flow of grace and abundance in my life and there have been many days where I felt the opposite, many of them as a matter of fact. I never stopped the focus however because I've done this enough to know that what needs to show up when I am opening to more of anything is whatever has been blocking that flow in the first place.

For some reason this one is hitting at a very deep core. I've run into all kinds of limiting ideas and beliefs, some I have met up with before numerous times and others have been there all along but I didn't necessarily get to them in any real way in the past. The latest and deepest that I have encountered are what you might call a lack of will to live and the depth of the doubting mind. It isn't easy to write about these because they don't really fit my self-image in some ways but then that whole self-image thing is such an illusion in and of itself.

The lack of will to live became apparent to me when I was hanging out with the idea of dying. I seem perfectly OK with dying but then the thought occurred to me that it was fine to be willing to die if that's where life was taking me but was I actually willing to live? I think something in me went kind of dead a long time ago and the will to live was weakened in the process. Whenever adversity or difficulty cropped up in my life (which happened a lot) I would often go into the "I just want to die" mode. I confronted that many years ago while sitting on a huge rock in a river in the Himalayas. I knew at that point that the 'I want to die' bit was really not true, it was a kind of trick of the mind, a way out so to speak.

While I don't have the thought 'I want to die' anymore something seems to have gone underground with it. That's often the case with deeply held beliefs and habits of thinking. We become aware of them in one form so they somehow manage to morph and cleverly disguise themselves so they aren't quite so easy to spot. That way they can keep operating in the background, very similar to some computer viruses. Anyway, this one seems to have taken on a very subtle but operational perspective that I can only call the lack of will to live. Again, when confronted it's easy to see it isn't the truth but it's also been easy for it to operate at a kind of low level so it could go undetected. Can't wait to see what it morphs into next...

The other piece of this little puzzle I'm working with currently is the doubting mind. Grace to me is about trusting Life. Trusting Life has been a theme for some time now and it has certain been the catalyst for making me aware of the many, many ways that I don't actually trust Life at all. The doubting mind is an element of this lack of trust. Doubting self, doubting worth, doubting ability, doubting Life. All really bring into sharp relief the contrast between living a grace-filled life and a doubt and fear filled one. I was reminiscing this morning back to the times in my life when I was absolutely full of faith in Life. I could feel the flow of life and love and joy and well, grace in every cell of my body and in the way I saw everything that happened in life. I have been somewhat lost in the doubting mind of late, so it makes the contrast supremely evident. That has been a major gift to me in this process of expanding to allow more of Life to flow freely in and through me. I am so grateful for these times. I am so grateful for the contrast. I am so grateful for the memories. I am so grateful for what is.

Let the games continue!


Monday, May 20, 2013

This Too Shall Pass

Last Friday the Mayday tree outside my home office window finally started to bloom. It seems like it was only last week that the yard was still covered with snow and all the trees were bare. Now everything is coming to life once again.

So often whatever pain or difficulty we may be going through seems to be lasting forever (like our winter here in Alberta) but something always happens to shift the energies and move us into new life.

I'm reminded of the parable of the ring:
One morning, the boy Solomon saw the goldsmith who works for King David's Palace walk out of the palace very desperate and sad. Salomon asked the goldsmith with curiosity, what makes you feel so sad and desperate? The goldsmith answered, I have to provide a solution to the King within seven days. If not I will be taken out of my job. I am really confused because there is no solution for what the King has asked.

What is the solution that the King is looking for? Solomon was curious. The goldsmith presented the demand of the King to Solomon as follows: I need to make a gold ring for the king with an inscription on it which should help the king not to be very happy and forget the divine truth at his happy moments. At the same time the inscriptions on it should help him not to lose his heart when he is facing failures and desperations. Immediately Solomon gave what he needs to inscribe on it:

He said write as follows "This too shall pass."

I use that saying often. It does indeed remind me that no matter what is going on it will not last forever.

Sometimes we think we want only happiness and peace and joy 24/7 but is that true? Perhaps the full range of emotions is just as wonderful as all the colours of the rainbow. Perhaps every season is beautiful in its own way (they are very distinct where I live). Perhaps we have painful experiences and joyful ones because we need the contrast. Perhaps instead of wishing we could have only one kind of experience it would be more helpful to embrace the one we are having with the awareness that "This too shall pass."

When we are in tune with the cycles of life and the present moment there is no need to rush anything or try to make things happen.  We simply need to pay attention and the next step is always made visible when the time is right.


Monday, May 13, 2013

The Immune System

I went to see a healer last week. It was a great experience that left me with some food for thought. My system is quite well balanced apparently and it would seem the pain I have been experiencing is very much related to the work I am doing emotionally which makes perfect sense to me. What she is having me work on is strengthening my immune system which makes sense to me too.

Given how I process it makes me wonder what the metaphysical equivalent of the immune system would be? I haven't gone anywhere to look it up so I'm just going to go with intuition here. What shows up is 'The ability to ward off that which is not mine'. That would be the short version. We tend to speak of the immune system as fighting off whatever is not conducive to our health but I wonder if that describes accurately what actually happens. Isn't it more like swallowing up all those things that don't belong? Awareness of falsehoods in our thinking isn't about fighting them but rather allowing them to be absorbed so that they are no longer causing problems.


I suspect my 'immune system' has been quite taxed as I have been moving through all those false ideas about myself and life in the current focus period so I'm glad to receive some help with the physical effects of it all.

As much 'work' as I 'do', it's also important for me to remember that I am not the actual doer. In so many ways I am really the observer of ideas and decisions and experiences even as I am the vehicle through which they are happening. Surrender is an important aspect of whatever I do because as much as I can speculate and other people can tell me what they think is going on, etc, I don't really know at the level of 'personal' awareness. Life is unfolding in ways that are beyond any concept of self so in the end I do what I am led to do and whatever happens is up to Life itself.


Monday, May 6, 2013

Opportunties Abound

Last month I thought I'd be blogging a lot more than I have been; it just got extremely busy which is awesome. Along with the coaching I've been officiating a lot of memorials and funerals which I love to do. I know that sounds weird but when you think about it, it isn't as strange as it seems.

I love to connect with people at a heart level where there is just the realness of being. When we lose someone close to us, that's all we can do is be real, all the defenses are down. Then there are the times when the defenses are raised even higher when dealing with loss. Either way there's something special about being with people when they are grieving and needing help. The same is true for coaching even though it is a very different process.

As I've been staying focused on my intention of financial abundance and a grace-filled life I've also been dealing with some pretty raw places within myself and I love that too. I love finding those little hiding places within that seem to surface only when I am focused and intentional. It's always a great opportunity to bring the love and compassion I've always wanted to the dark and forgotten places within. When I find conflict it's an opportunity to bring peace; when I find rage, it's an opportunity to bring understanding; when I find fear, it's an opportunity to bring reassurance; when I find discouragement, it's an opportunity to bring compassion. Whatever I find it's always an opportunity to see the falsehoods that are no longer needed and to see through to the essence which is always just real and beautiful.

I think that's what living a grace-filled life is really all about; seeing everything, experiencing everything and knowing it's all perfect. It's about being fully present to the abundance that is right here right now.

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