Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Living Between The Lines

The script of life is written every day
In its own time and in its own way.
Sometimes it seems the writing is too tight
There's too much going on between morning and night.
Or sometimes the writing gets somehow discordant
That's when living between the lines is really important.
Take a deep breath now and dive right in
The space between is ready and always has been
To receive you and nurture you
And remind you you are home,
You're safe here, all is perfect
Rest now and know
That while your story may go on and on
The space between is what life really rests upon.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Replace or Be Present

Another wonderfully full and rich week comes to a close. I've also just finished the first draft of my book which I'm calling The Journey Home to Essence, A How To Manual for Dismantling the Illusion of Separation. There's a lot more work to do but it's been an interesting journey with it so far and I have to doubt there are more interesting adventures to come. It is nice to complete at least one step with it though.

I've also been having lots of fun with being present this week, which has been very helpful in keeping me from going into overwhelm. Someone asked me the other day about what to replace all those beliefs we're dismantling with. There are a lot of teachings out there that really promote filling in the space with affirmations or a different concept so that you don't end up filling the emptiness with the old beliefs and thoughts patterns. When I think of it, this thinking reminds me of some of the fear our more fundamental friends have around meditation; if you make a space then the devil will come in. We find new language but you know, some of those old ideas just keep getting recycled in new ways don't they?

Back to the question, what do you replace old beliefs with once you've realized they aren't 'The Truth'? I end the Liberation Process with opening to wonder and possibility instead of another thought about myself or whatever I've just dismantled, which is another way of saying I open to being present to what is right now which is an awesome place to be, yet I know as well as anyone that old thoughts tend to soon come rushing back in. In the unconscious moments those thoughts just run around the mind-scape the same way they always have (by the way that happens if you've tried to replace them as well) but the magic is in those moments when I become aware of my thinking and and bring my focus back to the present moment. I don't need to replace the thought with a new one, I need to be present to what is.

Thoughts come and go and roll around but I don't have to hitch a ride every time one goes by. I may notice there are thoughts floating through but being present for me means seeing right through those thoughts and resting in the space where Life is unfolding so very perfectly. Delicious!


Monday, June 18, 2012

Joyous Opportunities for Compassion

I just had a fabulous weekend in Calgary with some great 'girl time' with friends, one of whom I hadn't seen in a few years and then doing the talk at Unity of Calgary followed by a mini workshop on the Process of Liberation. It was mini in time and in attendance but it was mighty anyway.

I am so grateful for every opportunity there is to share what has become a great passion, dismantling the illusion with compassion and understanding. My whole being responds with a joyous expansiveness whenever there is sharing and breaking through the veils. I don't care if the sharing is with one person or one thousand, it's about being what I am teaching. I long ago realized that I teach what I most need to be. It is a circular process really where as I teach I expand in what I teach and the teaching in turn expands. The Universe is such an amazing experience!

One of the things that was really important for me this weekend was the realization that some of my own false ideas were coming up prior to the Sunday event and how doing the work completely shifted the experience and opened up a whole new level of joyous experience.

I long ago made the commitment to myself that no matter how often the same old patterns show up my response is to be unconditionally present with compassion and understanding, realizing the fearful or painful thoughts about whatever is happening are what is not true. Patterns are patterns and they rarely just disappear but they also don't hold the sway they had when they were unconscious and believed hook, line and sinker.

Every time old patterns arise it is yet another great opportunity to be the unconditional, compassionate presence, and that truly is delicious living.


Saturday, June 16, 2012

More of the Unknown

Being fully present to whatever is going on within and without is certainly an interesting challenge when you really don't know how to respond; even when you do know, it's still seductive to go directly to distraction. I'm deeply aware of some assumptions I made long ago as they surface for me today. To be honest some of it sadness me a little yet I am also grateful for the awareness coming up now instead of after the fact. As I sit here and bring my full compassionate attention to the feeling in my heart,there is a distinct relaxing and a gentleness that flows through me. I'm so grateful that I no longer feel the need to run away and pretend. Breathing fully into my heart brings even more peace and reassurance because I am also aware that the story is all based on assumptions and interpretations that have more to do with the past than anything coming up in the near future. The truth is I have no idea what's coming and I'm OK with that as I rest here enjoying the warmth of the sun and the warmth in my heart. Namaste

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Weathering The Storms

stormy weather

We had a wonderfully stormy Saturday night and I loved it. Hard rain, a little thunder and wind feels so good once in a while. As with all things, it wouldn't be so much fun if it was that way all the time but alas, nothing lasts forever, at least not in the temporal world.

Speaking of things that don't last forever, I've been noticing some discouragement in people around me who are trying to make changes in their lives and are not experiencing what they thought they wanted. It's interesting to explore what's behind discouragement because there is often such a mixed message that it isn't surprising whatever they try doesn't work.

Let's play with an example of what I mean here such as wanting to have a significant, harmonious relationship for instance and constantly falling back into conflicted relationships that do not satisfy the need to feel significant to the other person. I've seen this kind of dynamic played out over and over for a lot of people even though they may know that it's really all about their beliefs and assumptions about life. I fully understand discouragement as it is something I felt most of my life; I may well meet up with it again but it's been a while since I've really gone there.

So what's the shift that has to happen in order to be at peace with where you are instead of struggling with the same old thing? There are probably all kinds of answers to this but I'll just share some of my experience around it.

First off, it's very helpful to be aware that there are indeed conflicting beliefs and needs at play. Using the example above, a need might be for significance/importance which is part of the human condition. When that need was not met sufficiently (or at all for that matter) in childhood, all kinds of strategies were likely developed in an effort to get the need met. Often these strategies are not pretty, they're just pretty desperate. Acting out, being especially good, over achieving, underachieving, trying to do as much as possible to make another happy, becoming reclusive are all strategies used to deal with the need. Some sort of work, sometimes but in the end you're left feeling empty and discouraged because they don't really work to address the core issue which has been masked in all the efforting. Then there is often a belief that develops that says no matter what I do I can't get that need met. So, the conflict is born and you swing back and forth from desperate effort, to giving up, to discouragement and despair, back to trying hard and round and round you go.

So now that you're aware of the conflicting beliefs and needs the next step is to be fully present to the pain of it all. Stop the merry go round for a moment and breathe, just take some nice full breaths and let your focus drop into your body where the conflict has been playing out in the form of physical pain or discomfort (fear, sadness, anger are likely the feelings associated with this kind of dynamic). Take a few moments to breathe with it where it lives in your body and to bring compassion and kindness and understanding to the being who has been so desperate and so discouraged. Just be fully present to it without all the criticism and blame. Notice how innocent this beingness is. There was a perception of need which every human experiences and so you were simply trying to get it met. There's nothing to condemn in that is there? As a child you had no way of knowing what was really going on so you filled in the gap with some kind of assumption about yourself and what you had to do to survive and you've just been living that out ever since; going back and forth, trying and giving up over and over. But now you have a new option because you're aware and I presume you would like to alleviate the suffering (bring compassion) and the most effective way I know to do that is to simply give the quality of attention to that inner being that it has been trying to get from others even as it has been hiding from it. Just breathe into it for a moment, be kind in your thoughts toward it but most of all be present with understanding.

The next step is to question the validity of the belief that this need is bad or that you have to get rid of it or you have to get anyone else to meet it. You are in this moment meeting the need! That is such good news. You can let everyone else off the hook, you can let go of all those ineffective strategies and you can be what you've been seeking. Breathe into that for a moment. Nothing needs to happen in the world for you to be ok; you're ok right now and you can rest here. It isn't true that this need will never be met is it? Eureka, the barrier has been broken, love can flow once again and all that energy is freed up. Take a moment to open to the wonder of infinite possibility that has just come available to you, appreciate all that is right now and all that is to be. Life is such an adventure! Life is happening in and through you and it's all a wonder.

Here's a question that's particularly important to consider; will the conflict show up again, will you be challenged with your old patterns again? You bet! The difference is that you know what it is and you can go right back to that place where the pain lives and be fully present and compassionate and give yourself exactly what you really need again and again. Who cares how often you have to go back there? What could possibly be more important when the need shows up?

You'll probably forget all about doing this more often than you remember but every time you do give that compassionate attention and call the bluff on the beliefs about it is a gift. Why not receive it over and over?


Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Safety in Sameness?

What does anything really mean? I have my ideas, you have yours and they may be similar, or not. The only significance there is in any of it is how it affects our daily lives; do the meanings we assign things align with what is most important to us or are we just operating on automatic or default programing?

I often stop to question the meaning I give interactions or events, especially when they leave me feeling uncomfortable somehow. When I do I find that I've usually gotten caught up in my own point of view, not because it's right or that it is superior but because it's a habit. I was having a conversation the other day about how many people like to go to church because they like the sense of safety they get in knowing what is going to happen. There is a ritual going on that is predictable and makes them comfortable. I had to giggle a little because that is the very thing I railed against when I was in ministry, that little box that felt more like a coffin than a safe space for me after a while.

I started having weekly gatherings on Sunday mornings recently because it was a convenient time but it isn't about the kind of safety that comes from sameness. I haven't had the same set-up twice and I never know exactly what we're going to be doing which is where the juice is for me. There are certainly parameters and intentionality but I see this as a place to explore and go beyond the safety zone. There is always the lure of falling into a routine however and it may happen at times but the intention will undoubtedly guide us in shaking things up when needed.

Life is always doing what it needs to do to lead us on our unique journey so what is, is and what will be will be. It's all perfect.


Sunday, June 3, 2012


I have nothing to say this morning but felt like writing anyway; who knows what may show up. I'm having a fabulous weekend and am looking forward to the gathering this morning even though I really don't know where that's going either. That's what makes it fun and interesting for me, the not knowing part. I plan some things but they either happen or they don't and each gathering has a life of its own anyway. Pretty much like the rest of life isn't it? We plan and imagine what might be and in the end we have what we have and it really has little to do with our planning.

I've been pondering what is and how we keep trying to devise ways of not being where we are, of making the future a better place and making what is coming special somehow. What's that really about I wonder? What if we stopped trying to be somewhere else and were simply here, now exactly as it is? And what is it about this moment that is so unacceptable anyway? Is it what's going on or is it just what we think about what's happening? What if this is it? This is as good as it gets? What if I were to give up any thought of some kind of future salvation or enlightenment or things just being better? Quite frankly this moment is pretty darn perfect even with having a slight headache and not having turned the heat on so I'm a bit cool. Just being present to those sensations...and everything else in and around me... I am in awe and appreciation. The next moment things are different, and they remain the same. Hmm...

I seem to be contracting myself somewhat here, first I'm looking forward to the gathering then it's about being present to what is. That too is life.

I guess that's what I had to write about this morning.