Thursday, April 28, 2011

The Wow Factor

There are times in life when all manner of discomfort arises. These times are often linked to stepping into new ventures, finally taking a chance with something you've really wanted or when something happens to shake up your world such as a job loss or loss of a loved one. Whether the change is viewed as 'good' or 'bad' (terms used when we are out of the flow of Life) it can bring up lots of fear, lots of limiting beliefs and their kissing cousin doubt.

Here's the good news, these can all be portals into an expanded sense of Being where once the feelings are acknowledged, the beliefs questioned and seen through and the state of wonder evoked there comes what I am calling the Wow Factor. That enhanced period of creativity and flow where ideas abound, activity flows naturally and joy bubbles up unbidden.

Last weekend I had all kinds of fears showing up and with each one I paid attention, went through the process where each belief I became aware of was questioned and released. For a time that just brought up more stuff in pretty short order which is exactly what the process called for at the time, then a sense of well being arose. Since then the flow of creative ideas and energy and just plain joy has been dominant. There's often stuff that comes up but it is dealt with so quickly it hardly shows up on my radar.
This is the Wow Factor; the sense of well being, of energy flowing, of the perfection of everything. All it takes is the willingness to turn around a face whatever shows up so that you can see through the veil of illusion to the beauty beyond. The dark times will indeed show up again but I know those times are really only here to serve my journey into ever expanding well being and flow.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Wonder of Wonder

As I constantly work with the process of dismantling my own belief systems (aka BS) as well as working with others to guide them in the process I am reminded again and again how easy it is to abort the process before it is complete.The final element of the process is wonder. This is the place we want to hang out. Wonder about what's possible given that what I had believed isn't really the truth; wonder about what life would be like if I didn't believe ______; wonder about what's really going on beyond these layers of belief, etc.
When someone tells me they've been hanging out in their pain for days what I usually find is that they didn't really question what they were believing, at least not in a full body sort of way or that they forgot altogether to get into the wondering, that clear open space that isn't about having a definitive answer in the moment but rather an opening for whatever Life has for us. There's no figuring or analyzing or rote affirmation here, just delicious wonder and flow with Life.
I can't begin to describe the wonder of wonder when the space has been cleared of preconceived ideas. Try it, I think you'll like it.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Vicissitudes of Life

Friday night I felt disconnected for a while. Saturday felt more flow yet still aware of being somewhat off balance and really feeling a whole bunch of muscles I hadn't used for a while after Friday's activities. It reminded me of how it is when we start into any new or unfamiliar activity including those of the mind. This work of dismantling the illusion can bring up pain very similar to that of muscles unused to certain activities. It isn't unusual to feel even more pain for a time as the walls tumble down and that, believe it or not, is an indicator of the process working not the reverse.

I was speaking to a client the other day who was experiencing a period of deep sorrow and grief which is an absolute break through after years of anger and defensiveness. There is now a clear gateway through which one can enter the inner sanctum of being and finally make peace with what is instead of the constant fight. This is the place I have experienced the deepest serenity. It is a time to celebrate even though that is the last thing people generally want to do at this point.

The important thing is to realize all is well and to keep moving through the layers of falsehood that have now been revealed with as much gentleness and compassion as you can muster. Here is where we usually can see more clearly the patterns of behaviour that we are most ashamed of or feel most guilt over which are thick and unyielding layers indeed. We generally tend to bounce off guilt and shame; who wants to feel that? But there you have it, if it's there then distracting ourselves will not change it; if anything it's more likely to strengthen it. Stepping into the heart of it with courage, compassion and curiosity however will dissolve it, if not immediately then with persistence whenever the symptoms show up. Most people are covering up ancient beliefs in inadequacy, incompetence and just plain feeling bad so don't be surprised to find those lurking in the dark corners of your consciousness. They aren't there because it's true, they are there because that is what you decided long, long ago in your efforts to make sense out of what was going on around you or to you and it will remain there colouring your world until you truly no longer believe it (and I not talking about convincing yourself somehow of the opposite). Rather than set up an argument by trying to tell yourself you're worthy or deserving or good, how about simply wondering about what it would be like if you didn't have whatever particular belief you identify. Open, relaxed curiosity is a powerful tool.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Where Am I Really

Here I sit with the intention to write an entry for the blog and find myself wondering where I really am right now. Physically I'm sitting here but I seem to be quite distracted for some reason. It's been an awesome day with sporting clays this morning and a movie this afternoon and lots of great sunshine. What more could I ask for? I've also been getting registrations for the upcoming workshop and subscriptions for my newsletter email list and here I am with a wandering mind and no sense of direction. I suspect I am in what you might call overdrive where I find it difficult to just let go and do nothing but that is exactly what I am being called to because I sense something arising that I have not given my full attention and so offline I go to do just that.
Have a fabulous day!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


Been back working on setting up my business for only a couple of days and I'm having all kinds of fun (not being sarcastic). Even the places where I run into my beloved 'institutions' are being turned into fun for me so, you know it all works when you get that any problem is only so because I make it so.
That's not always so easy to explain to people who aren't really aware of all this. It's one of those you have to experience it to get it, otherwise if you're only taking my word for it, it just becomes another belief that ends up adding to the already overburdened structure of the mind. Speaking of structures of the mind, for some reason the movie Life As A House came up for me this morning as I lay in bed contemplating this work. It's from 2002 starring Kevin Kline. If you haven't seen it I highly recommend it. Anyway, the metaphor of taking down the house he had lived in which had been his father's house while dealing with cancer and a broken family and then building a new house was very powerful. It's a great way of relating to how this process works.

The reason I jumped off the peace and love and oneness bandwagon and have chosen to focus on the dismantling process rather than the philosophy is because what I noticed most was how much we tend to take new ideas that sound good and feel good for a moment and pile them onto already rotting structures of thought and then wonder why it doesn't 'work'. In other words, why aren't I happy now that I 'know' that all there is is love, etc? You can't put new wine in old wine skins, you can't just nail a new board onto an old house and expect anything to be fundamentally different. You can't skip over the part where you take apart what you've believed because it will keep you in its thrall until you absolutely don't buy it any more. As you've noticed in my blog, even when you do take them apart shades of old beliefs still show up from time to time but that doesn't mean they're in charge, it does mean that the neural pathways are pretty well defined for some things and it takes a bit more rerouting to so to speak. The whole process becomes fun though so it really isn't about having achieved something so much as enjoying each moment on the journey.

And by the way, if you haven't gotten an email from me about the new workshop I am offering you can get info on my website at I'm looking forward to having lots of fun there!

Monday, April 18, 2011


As I step back into what's going on here at home I am deeply aware of some very critical and unkind thoughts toward a forwarding company who has a package for my husband. These are not new thoughts toward this company and others I have deemed to be similar but I do find them rather interesting at this point in my journey. What I notice behind the bad mouthing is how powerless I feel when confronted with what I perceive as immovable objects called institutions. I've had a running battle of sorts with institutions most of my life fueled by these feelings of powerlessness and helplessness and it's always felt much more powerful to get angry and decry their rules and regulations than let myself really feel this powerlessness.

Well, it didn't take long to catch myself in the act and to see past the facade of self-righteousness this time. There is no need to try to feel powerful in the face of what is beyond my control; frankly, pretty much everything in life is out of my control so I can and have in the past expended a great deal of energy resisting it (it being life really) and being frustrated and critical. It is the most pointless waste of time I can think of yet here I was yesterday and early this morning caught in that old drama until I saw it clearly and breathed with it and made peace with it exactly as it is.

This seems to be a personal example of something I've been contemplating a great deal over the past week. Going through various museums and visiting war memorials in DC really brought up how tightly we tend to hang on to a way of doing things that has seen its day and is ready to be retired but our investment in it is such that we often cannot see any other way of being. What I'm referring to here is how humanity in general seems to see the only way to peace and freedom being through war. I remember a few years ago watching a David Hawkins workshop DVD where he mentioned that the planet had only been not at war 7% of the time in human history or something to that effect. I am reluctant to say that we were at peace because not being at war and being at peace is not necessarily the same thing. Seeing the way we tend to romanticize war in our own peculiar ways even while saying we don't want to be at war is not just something 'they' do. We do it every time we fight whatever is going on in our lives, like me with 'institutions'. It is so deeply ingrained in most of us that even when we do our best to choose peace or love it tends to show up in the most insidious ways. That doesn't make us bad or wrong or anything else for that matter; it is a wonderfully humbling experience that reminds me that we're all in this together and that there's always another opportunity to make peace, no matter how far down the path of war I may have wandered. Powerlessness is the key; not trying to make myself feel powerful but rather being at peace with the feelings of powerlessness and recognizing that isn't who I am either.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Home Again

Well, it's been a fabulous 9 days in DC and now we are back in Alberta where there is still snow on the ground and cool temperatures. The sun is shining brightly this morning however and either way, it's good to be home once again. I love going on adventures and I love coming back when they are complete and on Friday our DC adventure felt complete. We took it pretty easy even though we still managed to walk a few miles. We found a wonderful sanctuary and oasis at the Botanical Gardens right next to the Capital where we immersed ourselves in the experience of being in all that plant life. We had coffee in the park near Union Station and had yet another fabulous meal near Dupont Circle. Couldn't have asked for a better last day or a better trip home on Saturday.

I know it's just about time to get back into planning my upcoming workshop and getting my business off the ground and I'm looking forward to that. I actually gave it no thought while we were away; it's wonderful to simply be present to the experience at hand knowing that all is unfolding as it will and I'll get back to life here in the right and perfect time.

I sense I was given so many gifts on this little trip that it will be unfolding for quite some time yet, whether I am aware of it or not. Pondering how ideals and powerful beliefs, such as was brought forth through people like Thomas Jefferson and Ben Franklin, unfold and what happens to them when they are greeted by the more basic beliefs such as in fear and lack as virtually all ideals must in order to be experienced in their fullness. Peace and prosperity have twins called strife and poverty. We like to think that one can exist without the other but can they? We want to embrace one and reject the other even while being its thrall. These are all ways of approaching life that are not grounded in reality but rather in conceptuality (I know that isn't really a word but maybe it should be). I wonder where this pondering might be taking me?  I feel a great joy in it all as I follow the flow knowing it is indeed all unfolding perfectly.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Even More Beauty

We made it to the Library of Congress yesterday. It is one of the most beautiful buildings I have ever been in. If you have not been to Washington and ever have the opportunity I would not hesitate to recommend it, not for the politics but for the sheer beauty of what has been built here on the physical level. Indeed there are many problems and stuff we don't know about behind the scenes but that does not have to deter one from appreciating the awesome structures that have been built here. We also went to the Jefferson Memorial which is at one end of the tidal pool and even though they are doing some repair work in front of it the memorial and the view are awesome.
One point of interest for me as we were going through the library though was in their display about the beginnings of this country. Above one set of documents was something about beliefs (I can't remember the exact phrase) that really stood out for me given the work I do. Indeed the country was founded on a set of beliefs that was lofty and idyllic, and they have fallen short. Is that not the way of beliefs? It is no different from our own lives which are also founded on beliefs that for the most part we are unable to live up to because it is what's real, it's a step removed from that. We too have build monuments and structures that are beautiful (some not so much) and we tend to become deeply attached to them. Therein lies the trap. There is a difference between appreciating something and 'believing' in it.We can appreciate what has been, and if we are called to it, there is still a letting go that brings us to even deeper levels of appreciation that are not attached to any concept or belief but rather to what is. Makes the whole world shine with wonder.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

More Wow

Acouple more days in and still pretty darned awed by this beautiful city and its uniqueness in so many ways. I did have to giggle the other day when the mayor of Washington, DC was arrested for protesting over the way the federal budget cuts were going to affect this city. Where else would the mayor of a city be arrested for such a thing? They have a very unusual status here as DC is not actually a state and the city is mainly funded by the feds it would seem. Gives them some pretty big advantages such as the federal government paying billions for the metro system but it also gives the city government less power as well. There's always more to any situation than meets the eye isn't there?
We went on a brief tour of the Capitol building the other day and I had my eyes opened in ways I had not expected. It is, of course massive and beautiful but they have this little movie at the beginning of the tour which gives you some background about the building and the form of government they have here. I was reminded that this form of democracy is indeed an experiment and how amazing it is that they have come this far given the independent, individualistic and diverse nature of the people who make up this country. That they manage to get anything done is a bit of a miracle and so one has to admit that even though the experiment has many flaws, the founding fathers and those who have made a great impact ever since were pretty brilliant. It also reminded me that I don't really know what's going on at the best of times so my opinions and judgments don't really have much value.
We also had a tour of The House of the Temple which is the Southern Jurisdiction of the Scottish Rite of Freemasonry's headquarters which figured pretty bit in Dan Brown's book. The same architect who designed the National Archives and other federal buildings designed this little gem and it is indeed a wonder to behold. It's always good to get more information about organizations that seem quite secretive as well and I really appreciated what I learned and observed. I had a business partner many years ago who was heavily involved with The Shriners which is another branch of Freemasonry so I knew some about it, mostly that they had to do lots of memorizing and that they really supported each other in succeeding. They are very much about being in service in the bigger picture as well and are big on being actively involved rather than just thinking about stuff. I like that. Almost made me want to join which of course I could not anyway because I am a woman. Not that I would join anyway, not my path but it is interesting how much segregation still remains in terms of gender.
We also watched a beautiful 3D IMAX film at the Museum of Natural History yesterday on Arabia. Learned lots there too and once again was reminded how much of the world still does that thing where women are treated differently in ways that are not necessarily honoring of them, at least so it seems. This has been a pretty common theme of observation of late. I have no idea what it means, I'm just curious about it all. It's fun being in this place of curiosity as I observe things I have been seeing all my life. Makes it all kind of fresh and new.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Falling In Love

When we went to Paris a few years ago I kind of fell in love with that city. It was so rich and full of history and beautiful architecture and great food (always a very important element in my travels). Yesterday I realized I was falling in love all over again with Washington. I would never have guessed it but here I am wandering the streets, finding myself pointing at all kinds of amazing buildings and monuments, etc, loving everything I see. There's a feel in the air here that is not what I expected (not that I know what I expected) and the beauty is certainly far beyond what I had envisioned somehow.
I was talking to John about that yesterday and wondered aloud if it had something to do with where I am on an inner level these days rather than just being about the city. As I said, I loved Paris but this is a whole new level of appreciation and wonder I have never experienced in all my travels. I'm like a kid seeing the world for the first time who is in absolute awe and joy all the time.
We've been walking miles and miles just appreciating every district we wander through. Yesterday we were in the Dupont Circle area where there are lots of great restaurants and there was a farmer's market going on. We took the Metro (we love the Metro) up to see the National Cathedral and had plenty of opportunity to observe a very different part of Washington as we walk to it from the station then we took a different route to a different Metro station back which took us through a beautiful residential district. The cathedral rivals anything we saw in Paris or Rome in size, workmanship and beauty. We even had an impromptu choir of teenagers trying out the accoustics in one of the chapels downstairs that was mouth droppingly awesome. I thought it was piped in music at first then as I looked more closely at the little group in front of us I realized they were the ones singing this beautiful latin hymn . Blew my socks off.

It's a wonder I have any socks left on at all at the end of the day, that's how awed I am by it all. Perhaps it is in contrast to how I had been feeling for a few months where nothing much mattered, I was feeling quite disconnected from the world as I focused on dismantling the structures of belief that I knew were blocking my vision. It is certainly an ongoing process but if this is any indication of what's beyond all those murky beliefs I'm more than happy to keep right on taking them apart.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Wonder in Washington

I am in Washington, DC for a wonder filled holiday. I've wanted to come since reading Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol and now here we are. Our first day was rather rainy but that did not deter us for a moment from enjoying some of the marvels of this amazing city. The Smithsonian Castle was our first stop and will undoubtedly be a stop we make several times before we're done. It's beyond huge. We also went to the National Archives and just walked around The Mall when it wasn't raining. The Air and Space Museum was one of our stops (we'll be back) and it is indeed awe inspiring as is so much of the architecture and the history we get to experience along the way. It's also cherry blossom festival time and the cherry blossoms we've seen so far are absolutely beautiful. We're headed to the Jefferson Memorial today to get the full effect as they likely won't be around much longer.
It's actually way more fun being here in this state of awe and wonder and appreciation that I feel for all of Life. Even the possibility of the government shutting down if they couldn't reach some kind of agreement over the budget was more fascinating than anything (that possibility has been averted for now as of 11 pm last night). What a process!
Anyway, off to play in the cherry blossoms and probably wander some in Old Alexandria for the afternoon.
Life is fabulous!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Whatever You Want, You've Got It

There's a song playing in my head right now that my title works with even though I don't think they were exactly the words of the original. It is what I experience in the flow however. We've always got what I want, we're just distracted with what we think about it all. When I move through the thinking and follow what shows up it all works out.

For example, I started looking for workshop space on Monday and was running into some no go situations. I knew I wanted it in St. Albert and I had one idea of where which didn't pan out so I expanded my search. There was another location that's been on my mind not only for workshop space but for possible office space to share. I had been putting off contacting them for reasons unbeknownst to me but when I finally did call I found everything I had been looking for and more! Way cool. As I said, I don't really know why I had been avoiding calling them other than for the contrasting experience which makes great grist for the mill of what I am sharing.

Another very minor but noticeable synchronicity (or whatever you want to call it) came this morning when I picked my Wonder Card for the day as I have started to do on a daily basis. The message was perfect for me, and, there was a minor typo on the card. I had already sent the files to the printers but I knew they hadn't done anything with them yet so I was able to make the correction and send that off before they were printed. It's all perfect. Even my not getting much sleep last night was perfect because I want to be able to go to bed earlier than usual tonight (I have to get up a lot earlier than usual tomorrow) and I wouldn't likely be able to get to sleep earlier if I'd had a full night's sleep last night.
It all just works when beliefs about things not working aren't in play.
PS The introductory workshop date is Saturday May 14th. Details to follow!

Monday, April 4, 2011

The Ups and Downs of the Creative Process

I'm still having lots of fun in the creative flow today. It's been a rich weekend for me with lots of opportunity to practice the process of dismantling those beliefs that don't serve me at this point in my life which invariably leaves me with a sense of openness and flow.
I've completed the updating and redesign of The Power of Wonder cards which I had originally created a few years ago as part of the turnitaroundjproject. It's been fun and a bit tedious at times going over every card and updating them. I printed off a set for myself (set includes 50 different cards) and started using them on a daily basis. I love the way the Universe always provides exactly what I need so have been deeply appreciating the process. I've sent the originals off to the printers now so should have them printed and back to me in a couple of weeks. More info then on the website.
I also spent a fair bit of time on Saturday designing my Basics workshop that I intend to present for the first time in mid May. Now in the process of finding meeting space (preferably in St. Albert) and will update you when I've got that sorted out too.
As I said, lots of creativity and fun and feelings that at one time would have stopped me in my tracks but are now being used a spring boards into more creativity and expansiveness. Yeah!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Flowing with the Energy

We watched Patch Adams last night. I hadn't seen it for years and must say it is just as powerful today as it was when it was first released. The joy and creative energy that flowed through Patch is truly an inspiration and a wonder to behold. As is so often the case, that way of being in the world did not come to him without a price in that he had been deeply unhappy before he realized what he really wanted to do with his life.

I've certainly had that experience, haven't you? Then we have mini crises along the way that really serve to reconnect us to our essence and what's important, which I certainly experienced over the past few months and I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate the whole process. Questioning where we are and what's going on now and again seems to be essential to staying in the creative flow. As with all the feelings and experiences that show up for us, they here to serve us, not to defeat us.