Thursday, March 3, 2011

Day 17

My question of the day: 'What would life be like if I didn't think (____________) should be different?
I've talked about this with everyone I've encountered today and have found it to be apt in all cases. It started as a question I had for someone else but of course it is most applicable to myself when I start feeling uncomfortable or resistant to what's going on in any given moment.
Since I am in the midst of this fast from making decisions about what I should do for work I've been particularly cognizant of the many ways I subtly start thinking things should be different or what I should do to create value somehow. Even if it's as little as cleaning something, I've noticed I like to have something to report at the end of the day which would indicate I'm useful somehow. What's that about other than as a means of distracting from discomfort about not earning my keep somehow. Perfect! This is the stuff I knew would come up for me in this time off work and it's exactly the kind of illusion I am dismantling so I am finding it very exciting to be able to play with it by stepping right into the heart of the lie and seeing it fall apart without a whole bunch of fuss or muss. The question about what life would be like is also a perfect reminder that whatever it is that's coming up is just another story and it has absolutely no power to determine my life experience when I see it for what it is.

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