Where Does Ego Fit?

Every now and then I find it freeing to listen to what ego has to say. There is such a tendency to make the personality all wrong and evil in much of the 'spiritual' world yet when I really look at what the ego/personality is I find that it may have a very limited point of view but it isn't evil or bad.

Ego wants what it wants. It has a particular slant on life that is really based on the innate desire to survive. It is often fear based but then that is the way of this planet as far as I can tell.

Ego isn't something I need to fight or deny, it is simply a vehicle through which life is playing out at this point in the Universe. I am grateful to be able to see the bigger picture and know that there is so much more to it all than ego can even begin to perceive yet I find that if I don't take the time to really listen to what ego wants and 'needs' and how it sees things I end up setting myself up for an unconscious battle of wills.

The other evening I was feeling kind of down and didn't really know why. I'd had a great day, I've been enjoying a very busy time with the work I love, all was well yet it didn't feel that way. So when I had time to myself I sat down and got curious about what was really going on. I gave ego full head and let it rant on and tell me all about its wants and woes without censorship or judgment. It had been a while since I'd had this depth of unedited stream of consciousness monologue with myself.

I didn't discover anything new but then there really isn't anything really new going on most of the time. I had no idea what I was supposed to do with what ego was expressing and so I didn't do anything with it; I simply let it be. It's one piece of the vast picture of life and it is an important one. I find that it can coexist very well within the bigger picture when I'm not fighting it. That which is selfish and self-centered about me is part of how I function in the world and need not supersede that which is more altruistic, loving and giving. In the end whatever we do for others or the world has a self-centered element. It either feels good to help or be of service or we do it because we think we should. Either way it all comes back to me and that's ok. I am just as much a part of the whole as anyone or anything else and that includes whatever desires are playing out in and through me.

The bottom line is I can't experience wholeness and leave out the ego; that's just another form of separation. It's all so very subtle and fascinating to me. Life really is a wonder.

Namaste