It has also been a great time for one of my long held limiting beliefs to show up in spades which is always a gift because it's a lot harder to ignore then. Seems to fit the Good Friday to Easter theme where the first part of the process is about dying to the old and having a type of resurrection experience. It's an age old process and while it doesn't always take 3 days, there is something symbolically significant there.
This particular 'dying' process is around what I would call the shadow of a belief and it goes something like 'No matter what I do it isn't enough or good enough to make everybody (or a particular somebody) happy'. It has a number of variations but I'm sure you get the drift. I call it a shadow of a belief because it has very limited power now compared to what it has had in my life. That's the way it seems to work as we dismantle the illusions of belief and assumption. Some beliefs seems to dissolve quite easily once seen for what they are, and others still have a foothold for a time and perhaps a long time but they just don't have the same impact and are quickly resolved.
I'm sharing this here because it is such a great example of how beliefs affect our lives and because we're so used to them they just seem normal even though there is undoubtedly some discomfort when they are triggered. These beliefs are not always active and can remain dormant for long periods of time, especially if we aren't stepping out of our comfort zone. What I find really interesting though is how when they are activated, they become part of events that on the surface would seem completely unrelated.
As in this particular case with the idea that I can't do enough, when it's awakened from its slumber it shows up in work when someone disappears for instance and I don't know why; at home when my beloved is unhappy for his own reasons and I can't do anything about it; with family like when my mom seems to want something more from me than I am willing to give; with friends when they are unhappy or uncomfortable and I am somehow involved. When the belief is in its dormant state any or all of the events mentioned above don't necessarily affect me adversely; I either feel compassion for the others involved and simply allow for their experience or I don't even really notice. Ah but when that thought of not enoughness has been awakened, then everything fits into the slot of it's about something I'm doing wrong (very ego centered). This is also a great indicator that something in me needs some compassionate attention but I may have been ignoring it, justifying it or being very rational with it instead. None of these activities actually provide what is needed or work to help dissolve the ego, they just reinforce the belief and the ego's position in the long run.
So what you might say. Well, for me the so what is in being about to take back the power I have given a false assumption and it is an opportunity to bring a compassionate, gentle, accepting energy to the beingness that has been hiding behind the belief. That's what I see as needing the attention instead of the belief. When I can bring a new, softer more aligned energy to hard, stuck places then there is release of the old and new life is brought into expression. That's what Easter represents to me and that's what my experience has been once again this weekend.
As always, my gratitude knows no bounds.
Namaste
No comments:
Post a Comment