Good Grief

In my work as a celebrant and a coach one of the experiences I work with a lot is grief. It is one of those things that most of us must experience in one way or another many times in our life. For many grief is a very challenging experience indeed. I was in such deep denial of it after I lost my business in the mid 80's that I nearly drank my life away.

We all experience grief differently even though there are a number of common experiences involved as well. Deep sadness, loss of meaning and purpose in life and being surprised by tears at the most unexpected times are some of those common experiences. There is often denial and anger as well as a fear and doubt and every kind of emotion.

The important thing about grief is that it is actually a portal of sorts into a new reality for the one who is grieving. Any kind of change or loss in life can and does trigger grief to some degree. Most of us became quite adept at ignoring it or pushing it down but it has a way of making itself known to us in some way or other as we travel through life. I know when I finally stepped into the grief after my major loss in the 80's I was also stepping into all the unexpressed grief I had been storing up for a lifetime. This is not an unusual experience for many people either. Personally, I was so grateful when I was finally able to acknowledge the grief and feel the depth of it because it opened the door to making some very important and life affirming changes.

I've experienced similar shifts and openings several times in my life since then as changes and losses have occurred as they will for us all. I've learned to embrace grief and move through it with grace and the gifts have continued to show up as well. When we resist grief and sadness, we set up a barrier to keep ourselves 'safe' from uncomfortable feelings but the problem with these barriers is that they also keep the good stuff out as well. A barrier is a barrier after all. When we end the resistance and allow our vulnerability there a no barriers anymore and so life can flow freely once again.


As our friends the Borg remind us 'Resistance is futile' (for all my Trekkie friends). Why not move with the flow instead of pushing the river? Life really is a beautiful thing as we merrily float down that stream.

Namaste