Sunday, December 9, 2012

Death and Presence

I love celebrations of life. So much so in fact that I have decided to expand that aspect of my services to include pet celebrations.

I've been toying with the idea for quite some time but had not acted on it until Ardeth who owns Appel Funeral Home started a pet funeral home in Edmonton. It inspired me to jump in and offer celebrant services to help people deal with the loss of their beloved furred and feathered friends.

It's so easy for society to dismiss this kind of loss or gloss over it as though it should be no big deal, but it is a big deal when your pet is your best friend and source of love and comfort. Loss is loss and when a very important part of our lives dies, whether human or animal, it is important to acknowledge, grieve and celebrate the life lost.

When I was younger I didn't think grief was a big deal, matter of fact I didn't let myself grieve the losses I had encountered, I just suppressed the pain and carried on as though nothing had really happened. When it finally did all start coming out I was quite shocked at the layers and layers of unacknowledged grief I had been carrying. It wasn't that it hadn't been affecting me, it was just that I didn't know what it was when I acted out or get depressed or lost interest in life.

I suspect unacknowledged grief is being experienced in epidemic proportions in our culture because we have made death something to be hidden away or unnatural somehow. Death is every bit as natural and part of life and birth is, they are two sides of the coin of life which must be experienced by everyone and everything that is manifest. We like to soften it up by using words like transitioned or passed over but the reality is that the physical presence is no more, it has died, regardless of what one may believe about what happens next. There is a loss which needs to be grieved.

What I've learned with my own grief is that when I acknowledge the loss and associated pain and sadness and am fully present to it I don't have to act out or get depressed or run away through any kind of distracting behavior. I move toward it instead of trying to get away from it, giving it the quality of attention it needs which is compassion and understanding. It is only then that I can experience the poignancy and sweetness of the experience which leads to a state of deep peace and ever expanding waves of love.

Presence, presence, presence. That's what is truly available in all of life's experiences when I embrace them instead of turning away and pretending. Presence is the home of peace, love and joy and that is what is continually calling from within. It's all right here, right now as long as I am too.

Namaste


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