Grief and Flow

For every change we experience in life there is a little bit of grieving to do, and sometimes there is a lot. When someone close to us dies it is considered normal to grieve even though in our culture there appears to be some kind of artificial time limit on it which is pretty short most of the time. There is also a tendency to avoid thinking and talking about death for some, which is kind of interesting given that it is the only sure thing in life. I don't advocate obsessing about it either but I see it as healthy to contemplate one's own death occasionally, acknowledging the impermanence of this physical expression and obtaining perspective about what might be important.

Today however my focus is not necessarily on physical death but on the process of change and evolution and how important it is to allow the feelings of sadness and loss when they arise. I had been completely ignorant of this process when I shut down my first company back in the mid 80's. I was in such deep denial about the losses I was experiencing that I just drank and looked for every kind of distraction I could find for a year and a half before I finally got help. Since then I've gone through an amazing amount of change, as have we all in our own way, and I'm still caught by surprise now and then by the moments of sadness that show up.

I had some of those moments this week when I made a decision not to complete on something that I thought I should. Note the word should there. The old programming tends to want me to go all the way with things once I start them, even when it isn't really what I want or need. Thank goodness I am able to realize this relatively quickly now and make the course corrections I need to make. One of the things I find very helpful in this process is simply being fully present to what I am experiencing instead of running away or distracting. I had been sensing I was out of alignment with the assignment I thought I had to complete and had been in resistance to it. When I finally realized I didn't have to do this, I had already gotten what I wanted and needed from the process there was relief and sadness. That's where the grieving comes in which is what I realized the sadness was about. I was letting go of something that I didn't need but there was still a loss involved. When the resistance was gone, so was the false obligation and then the sadness could surface and I could make peace with what is.

The movement of energy through consciousness is such a fascinating thing. When it touches on ideas and beliefs there is emotion and they can range from joy to sadness to anger to numbness all in a matter of moments sometimes. When there is awareness of the ideas associated with the feelings then there is opportunity. When there is unconsciousness the status quo is maintained and there is only recycling.

Whatever shows up is what shows up, it isn't about making anything right or wrong it is about allowing the shifts to happen and the feelings to arise yet we don't have to remain in the thrall of outdated, false ideas that we often consider to be truths. It may be time for some of them to die. Letting go of some of those dearly held concepts can prompt grieving; our dearly held beliefs form our self-concept and so there is something that does indeed die when a belief is laid to rest. It's OK to grieve it. Let it flow through you; the fullness of Life is waiting on the other side.

Namaste