The flash of insight about what was behind the pain came not while I was focused on the pain but when I was doing something mundane where my mind wasn't completely occupied.
Awareness is like that. What we need to know doesn't show up when we expect it to, nor does it seem to have anything to do with how we think we're going to receive it. It really does seem to be about simply making space through acceptance, compassion and understanding then responding when the insight does arise. In this particular case the response has been to acknowledge what was previously denied and to bring more understanding and acceptance every day for as long as it takes.
It's important to note that this kind of release really isn't a one shot deal. What was buried for so long seems to require lots of space and time to fully reveal itself and be freed from the confines of its long imprisonment. This one was at least a 55 year sentence so there is some adjusting to do as the cell door opens and light is admitted.
Namaste
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